Untitled

Last night I had a dream.
I dreamt I walked down a long corridor
further than eyes could see or ears could hear
and as I walked I realized
I was not alone.

Around me in the darkness stood a million solid figures
with a million solemn faces;
every person I had ever known or met
standing in lines to infinity
on either side of my bare shoulders.

As I walked my eyes adjusted to the dark
and I noticed each person, though unmoving,
seemed always to face me with eyes that prickled my pale, naked skin,
seeing deep beneath the surface,
into me and even through me.

I noticed then that each person held a single object
clasped in white-knuckled hands
and pointed straight at me
held aloft in judgment in the shrill, piercing silence.
I tried to focus.

A teacher held the test I cheated on as a 10 year old.
My brother held a guitar with missing e string.
An ex-lover gripped a bloody heart in her fist.
A cousin held a dead bird, a bullet hole in its' chest.
Frightened, I began to run.

My footsteps made no impact on the deathly silence.
The invisible ground was cold on my lonesome feet
as I passed by the people of my past,
the curator of a strange museum,
with exhibits more disturbing than wax figures.

As I ran I glimpsed you from the corner of my eye.
I skidded to a halt, slipped and crashed to the ground.
I scrambled to my feet, eyes searching for you frantically
until I found you in the line,
one amongst the millions.

Carefully, I approached
struggling to see what was held in your hands.
As I came closer you held it up before me
A mirror shrouded in white light
and I was unsure whether or not to be afraid.

Conscience Can Be Hard To Find And Harder Still To Lose

I came inside
with a fistful of 20 cent pieces
and all my dirty laundry
my phone turned off and left on the car seat
I was alone and untethered and it felt alright

Flyers on the wall screamed for
my attention but they only disappointed
like the old magazines at the doctors surgery
the desperate refuge
of a bored man

The door opened
and the winds rushed in and in
she came
windblown and green-eyed and
oh-so pretty

All woman and right there in front of me.

At home I stumbled on the front step
my hands once so sure
couldn’t find my keys
the keys couldn’t find the lock
and the floorboards cried when I stepped on them.

Everyone asleep.

I took a shower
in water that ran cold
I eased myself into bed and drew the covers up
and sleepily my wife
threw an arm around me

I shut my eyes tight and waited for sleep
to engulf me and wipe away the day
and as I drifted off I realised
I fucked her
I fucked her in the laundry as our wet clothes tumbled round us

Elegy for my Lost Keys

O how could this come to be?
What trick or trap or devilry
couldst provoke this tragedy?
Come back to me o missing keys.

I took for granted for too long
your metal jingle-jangle song
come back to me, for I was wrong
Come back to me o missing keys.

You travelled with me far and wide
when doors were drunk and hard to find
those nights you let me back inside
Come back to me o missing keys.

It took me far too long to see
you weren’t just a utility
to open doors and beers for me
Come back to me o missing keys.