so tired

so tired I want to throw up
who’d have thought exhaustion could make you feel like this
12 hours sleep in 4 days
the heat
the heat
the heat
woke up today to go work
should’ve known it was bad
stomach disgusting and swollen
fat sack full of shit and bile
want to spit at myself
seeing that in the mirror
work and caffeine and work and caffeine
and for a little while its ok
and then its back to crap
the sweat
the sweat dripping
oozing like oil down my neck and back
candle flame burning on the inside of my head
on break and into the toilet before I lose my breakfast
but it doesn’t come out
take a shit instead
hot and bubbly and god-awful
when will it end?